Last week in the cabin, I had the pleasure of working 1-2-1 with a 70-year-old lady who was visiting her son locally. When we first spoke on the phone, she described herself as “fairly active,” but when the conversation turned to yoga, she repeated a phrase a few times: “I’m not very good.”
She told me about her regular classes back home in Wales, where there are people older than her who she described as “amazing” at yoga. She was doing what lots of us do…. measuring herself against others, quietly placing herself somewhere lower on an invisible scale.
So, I’ll admit, I had certain expectations before she arrived. I imagined we might work around some common age-related challenges—perhaps reduced mobility, limited strength or wobbly transitions between postures. But from the moment we began, those assumptions disappeared.
She was incredibly strong. Her planks were not only solid, but beautifully aligned, held with ease and control. Her mobility and flexibility were impressive, and the way she moved between postures showed real body awareness and confidence. Honestly, she was one of the strongest, most controlled people I’ve worked with in the cabin!
And yet, in her own mind, she wasn’t “very good.”
It wasn’t until we reached some balancing work (Tree Pose) that things started to make sense. She was determined to bring her foot high up into her inner thigh. Now, that’s a version of the pose many people associate with the “full expression” (I dislike this term but I can’t think of another way to describe it right now) but it’s also one that requires a very specific combination of hip mobility and knee comfort – not something everyone has, certainly not something that defines the quality of the pose. I’ve never been able to get my foot inside my thigh with my knees!
As she worked to get her foot higher, she began to wobble. Her breath became less steady, her focus scattered slightly and she mentioned that balance was something she struggled with at times. That, of course, is completely natural. Balance can vary not only day to day, but from side to side — and it’s something that often becomes more challenging as we age.
It became clear that this was one of her benchmarks where she felt she fell short. Perhaps in her usual class, she sees others standing tall and steady, foot high on the thigh and assumes that is the goal —what “good” looks like.
So I suggested something different. “What happens if you bring your foot down to your calf? Can you find more steadiness there, more strength, more ease?” She tried it and everything changed. Her body became still, her posture looked grounded and strong, her breath softened. There was a visible shift, not just physically, but mentally. She settled and found her Tree Pose 🙂
It got me thinking afterwards about how ingrained comparison is. We’re constantly measuring ourselves, often without realising it. In yoga, this shows up as focusing on how a pose looks compared to others, rather than how it feels in our own body. We tend to believe progress has a certain shape: a deeper stretch, a higher lift, a more “advanced” variation. In Tree Pose, that might mean getting the foot higher up the leg but these aesthetics can be misleading.
They don’t tell us anything about our breath, our control or whether we feel steady and at ease. And they certainly don’t reflect the quieting of the mind, one of the most valuable parts of the practice.
When we chase a shape, we often create unnecessary struggle but when we meet our body where it is, choosing steadiness and ease instead, the practice becomes far more supportive and meaningful. That shift from comparison to awareness is where real progress happens.
That lady didn’t need to lift her foot higher to be “better” at yoga, she just needed to recognise what was already there.
See you soon in the cabin!
Michelle x
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